Past is good

Those scenes. Feelings. Voices. Still vividly stayed. Perhaps or perhaps not it changes many things. So much sadness, disappointment and anger. Anguish for not able to turn back time. That walk accompanied by those unstoppable tears. Never seems to reach the destination. Sad to lose. Self disappointment. Angry of the strike. Thought have lost half the battle. Only to realise that the battle has just began. To give up immediately is to lose entirely. Gathered every parts again. Depended on the strength given. Geared in full force. Fought boldly. With the very best. Even scars look extraordinarily beautiful. Changes so much. It was good. It is good. And the battle never stops.

(A self reflection of a past incident that taught me to look at more issues in a deeper insight and am really glad that it became a good impact in my life)

Life or story?

Have you ever wonder why you even bother to have a blog in the first place?

Is it because everyone else has a blog, therefore you choose to have one too?
Or because you just want to share your thoughts with others?
Or you found a space to pour out your emotional anxieties without limit?
Perhaps you simply just love writing?

There are a thousand of reasons why some of us choose to leave some 'alphebets-prints' in the cyberworld.

Have you ever wonder blog actually reflects our lives and how we lived out our lives?

I find that some blogs are so much like autobiography.
Some treat blogs as diaries, jot down daily events and thoughts. In fact, even if we post up an article that we find it interesting which is not a piece of our work, it also reflects our characters through the post because of our choice of reading and preferences.

Of course, the issue of bias reported angle is altogether another discussion. Many of us write down our thoughts from our perpectives, some more factual writings are rather focused more on general perpectives. Yet, that's how we think, obviously there cant be a clear judgment of whose thinking is right and whose wrong. All of us here have equal right to think and write, but it always bound by the heavy responsibility of writing for good.

To me, a piece of good article is always trying to achieve the best out of the readers, makes the readers think and in the end benefits them.

I was thinking what if in another 50 years to come, some of our blogs actually turned into a book. A book that equivalent to our understanding of 'autobiography' now. Hahaha....

I think my readers will think I'm some mad or insane fellow, ahhaaa!

Anyway, my point is IF you know that your blog will be turned into an autobiography for the next generation to come, people will read your writing and create an image of you based on what you have written, "Is that how you want others to think who you are through your style and language used in your writing?"

It is very subjective whether people will interprete the text the way you wish they would, as we are now all trained to think critically before digesting any idea. Alright, perhaps not all of us, but at least this is what the world is moving towards. I hope.

If, I'm saying IF your blog is definitely going to be printed into a book, will you try to change the way you report what occured in your life? Perhaps even omit some characters or events in your life? Or even more serious, add in elements or characters into 'your life' and change the entire ending?

It is already an extremely tough job for a journalist to report a news without bias. What about us towards our own blog?


Somehow it just kept me thinking whether is our blog really our lives or just our created story, ahhaa...

I hope I didnt make your day a miserable one after reading this post, do feel free to comment, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Have a great day ahead! =)

Master of juggling

Taken from artofgarth.com/category/illustration/

Perhaps there are times
when we simply cannot avoid being busy

No big deal
don't run away with fear

JUGGLE it
yes
I mean it
let's learn to juggle with JOY

Cheers

Nothing is too difficult when we have the Almighty God with us

=) Smile

Childhood Fun Time

What was your childhood like?

Hmm.... thinking? recalling? aha! gotcha!
The longer you start to recall (magic moment), the older you are, wahaha.... *flee...=P*

My childhood was almost complete if ...
... the 'lovely' homework and holiday homework disappear *grin*
Bicycle, beaches, climb trees, sand, boardgames, all sort of soft and rough toys...... *wuhoo*
I can even jump down from the 1st floor without using the staircase, haha... *opps*


Found these little precious army toys from somewhere in the house... Cool eh?

O! Let not forget about the exposure to real life animal like says goats... I initially wanted to take a picture of a cow, mana tau that fellow ran away... ish*

Taken all these fellows in Batu Gajah. A part of my childhood lifetime was there.

What can you spot from this picture? =)

The Long Awaited Love Letter

A love letter
Written by EL
Idea and designed by Dr C
Appreciated by all from EL

Words that describe us.
Words that show us who we are to the rest.
Words that remind us our own special ways.
Words that tell us we are appreciated.

Thanks a lot
All who wrote it
And came out with this idea
My rainbow is now complete

Keep in Touch

Keep in 'Touch' (pic) by UMBA 2007 November Steamboat

Was reading a post from a friend's blog just the other day concerning 'friends' issue. It has become a very common matter these days. Find it hard to trust, sometimes do not know who can really be trusted. Hurts deep down. Feeling confused. Darkness overwhelmed. Worry how long can the relationship remain. Almost everyone been through the same stage. Some overcome this obstacle easily, but some still struggle in within. I'm in the grey area.

Everytime I send a message to a friend whom I have lost touch for sometimes, somehow there is an awkward feeling.

Of course, I need time to 'warm up' conversation with them when we meet face to face. Usually end up with unstopable conversation when time shows the word 'departure'.

Sometimes I would wonder what if I stay in the same school for a longer period and found myself a good friend and develop a better and longer good relationship since primary school, would I have a friend now whom I can proudly called 'a really good old friend'? It could be fun, wouldn't it?

I have always dreamt of having and envy other friends who have the so called 'good old friend'. Well, moving from one place to another may be easy to adapt for some people. I'm one. It has become a 'ritual' to me. Not that I have a choice. I have to learn fast adaptation. 'Learn it or loose it' was the situation.

2 kindergardens, 3 primary schools, 3 secondary schools, now uni. Kicked out from schools by headmasters/ headmistress for being the head of gangster in school. No one wants me. Too bad! Haha... Gotcha! Lame joke, lol. But the number of schools is true. No joke on the part.

After a few years in a school, I will have leave my friends and the familiar place where I thought I have settled down. Hard for a kid to say 'bye', 'see you again' and 'keep in touch'... when a kid has finally found a 'haven' that means a lot to him/ her. 'Immune' injected in me since then. That does not mean I am cruel and would not treasure what I had and have now. Just that I have to adjust myself faster, be brave, be tough, be 'cool'? haha...

One good things about this 'constant migrating' is that I get the privilege to see and understand more things from more different angles at different society and community. Able to make a great number of friends and be 'ge bo' =)

"Friends are easy to find, but hard to keep''

I'm glad God has always been there for me whenever I 'move'. He is my only 'really good OLD friend'. He gives me love, joy, hope, comfort, guidance, and always share my happiness and sorrows. My ever patience and loyal listener. Yea! My buddy!!

He bless me good friends wherever I am. Yes, each of you play a very important and different role in my life. Thank you! Really appreciate that. Sometimes the struggle with 'trust' still appear, but I'm learning to be wise. Yea, have faith!

Journey with obstacles is good, it gets us moving and mold us to be tougher!

Yep, I like it!

Fake me

At times, I'm just tired of being who i am
Tired of being Ms Perfect
Tired of being Ms Leader
Tired of being Ms Know Everything
Tired of being Ms Happy All The Time
Tired of being who am I now

You may think I have thought too much
But it has been so true
So true that I can no longer take it anymore
You might want to tell me it is alright
But it has been this way all these while
That is why you never realised

Sometimes I wonder what am I doing
Am I doing something worth of doing?
Worth of sacrificing my time, my strength, my smile?
Invest everything for something
Something that I'm not even sure sometimes
Where am I heading?

Why?
To please everyone?
To be the person you think I am?
To make every single decision for everyone?
To show how much I can do?
To show my smile will never fade?

Stop it, I'm telling you!
I am not perfect, even though I'm trying so hard in everyday of my life
I hate to lead, because I want to move forward together
I am not encyclopedia, you must understand my brain is still linking the neurons
I hate faking my smiles, because I prefer true smile
I am not who you think I am, you must realise

O Lord! Do teach me how to live out my true self
I need your guidance wisdom
I just want to live my life with You, just for You
You know that full well
I just want to please You, not anyone else
You know me better than myself

It's never fun to live such a life
Worn out, yes I am
Tired
Restless
Sick, in fact
Renew me, O Lord!

1727 Steps of Faith

Probably you will wonder what's with the 1727...

I was just having this thought since a few weeks ago. Always walk to uni without realising how many steps did I actually take each day. Or should I say each trip? Hmm... yea...

Finally, last week Saturday, I started to count how many steps I need to take in order to reach my apartment. From the very first step out of uni... one... two.. three... on and on... cross the road... turn right... cross road again... up the slope...

*fuh* Yeah! I did it! It's 1727 steps altogether!! I hope my maths isn't that bad. Well, more or less this number la! Anyway, I expected a number that exceed 1000, but I just did not realised that I take almost 3500 steps each day only on the trip to and for uni. Wow! I'm impressed, haha...

Sometimes, I really enjoy walking to uni and back home. It gives me a chance to move around and I guess I just like walking... haha! Hmm... I should consider 'walking' in my hobby now.

Despite the soaky rainny day and superb warm sunny sunshine, it's really great to be able to walk in the world that He created. Enjoying the breeze, the fresh air after rain, the path that leads to a place called 2nd home =)

Why did I put '1727 Steps of Faith'? Simple... As you know, the area where I'm staying is pretty notorious with crimes like snatch thieves, pick pockets, murderers... I have even heard more than enough people around me got into these cases. Although the secrurity here is better now and really has improved a lot, still it has not stop completely. However, I'm not afraid! What should I be afraid when I have Him in my life? Nothing!!!!

Actually, when I was walking alone, which it has becomes a daily routine to me, I do talk to Him to protect my safety and make my journey a wonderful one instead of just walk for the sake of reaching my destination. Of course, I have encountered a numbers of interesting adventures sometimes. It's really great and cheers me up. Praise Him!! Yea!!! He always work in wonderous way and the timing is so accurate.

Walking is cool... try it if you haven't been walking for a long time =)

Cached

Guess what's 'cached'??

Haha... Learned something new the other day, thanks to Dr Carmen! I bet most of do not realised what's 'cached' means.

Let me show you the explanation...

According to Dictionary.com:

1.	a hiding place, esp. one in the ground, for ammunition, food, treasures

2.	anything so hidden

3.	Alaska and Northern Canada. a small shed elevated on poles above the reach of animals and used for storing food, equipment, etc.

4.	to put in a cache; conceal; hide.

According to The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition:

1. 1. A hiding place used especially for storing provisions.
   2. A place for concealment and safekeeping, as of valuables.
   3. A store of goods or valuables concealed in a hiding place: maintained a cache of food in case of emergencies.
2. Computer Science A fast storage buffer in the central processing unit of a computer. Also called cache memory.

According to Google Help at http://www.google.com/help/features.html:

Google takes a snapshot of each page examined as it crawls the web and caches these as a back-up in case the original page is unavailable. If you click on the "Cached" link, you will see the web page as it looked when we indexed it. The cached content is the content Google uses to judge whether this page is a relevant match for your query.

When the cached page is displayed, it will have a header at the top which serves as a reminder that this is not necessarily the most recent version of the page. Terms that match your query are highlighted on the cached version to make it easier for you to see why your page is relevant.

The "Cached" link will be missing for sites that have not been indexed, as well as for sites whose owners have requested we not cache their content.

Alright! Get it? Hmm...

I'm getting to the point... See, there'a link to the original of the page even when the author change it or delete it unless according to what's stated above there.

So, whatever we posted in the internet, Google actually stores it. We can simply retrieve the original website by clicking the 'Cached' word that can be found at the bottom of the explanation that's after the title of the website with light blue underline and just before the word of 'Similar pages' and 'Note this' if you are using the Google Search to look for information.

If I'm mistaken, when Dr Carmen told us about this, we were shocked! Hold it! Don't say 'huh?' first, just let me finish...

The reason is she told us whatever we do in the internet, we have a record. From our very familiar website Friendster, Facebook, .... Blogs... See, there's a catch! Whoever did any posting on the website, I mean whatever we ever wrote out of frustration or sadness, we are in History! History!! Did I make it clear?

Anyone can actually retrieve whatever we have written in the internet by searching it... haha...
No matter how long you have already deleted the website or blog, you are in HISTORY!!!

Just imagine if someone actually search for what you have written and everything comes out in the Search page... haha... *mampus* Of course if you have not written anything illegal or stupid, then you can say 'Ceh!'

Well, just thought of letting you all know what's 'Cached'.

And now you know it, my job is done here.

幸福 Xing Fu

What's the meaning of 幸福 in English?

Often my friends ask me this question. Till now, I don't think I have the exact answer to the question. Aha! This also proves the insufficiency English words in human beings communication. That's why there are around 70% of English words are borrowed from other languages in order to complete a better communication.

From what I understand of the word 幸福 is with the mixture feeling of happiness, content, well-supplied, well-fed, often emotionally touched...

Often the meaning doesn't come altogether, depends on the situation and context. However, something for sure, the feeling is good and I love it!!

One word that I found which I personally think it's quite close to the meaning is BLESSED.

Blessed means
-bringing happiness and thankfulness according to Dictionary.com.
-bringing happiness, pleasure, or contentment according to The American Heritage®
Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition.
-highly favored or fortunate, enjoying the bliss of heaven, characterized by happiness and good fortune according to WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University.

So, how do you define it?

My definition on that... check out the picture below...

A complete 'more chips more' .... =,="
A complete and super 'clean up' mandarin orange. =)

Sweets, chocolates, biscuits all over my study table, hehe...