Fake me

At times, I'm just tired of being who i am
Tired of being Ms Perfect
Tired of being Ms Leader
Tired of being Ms Know Everything
Tired of being Ms Happy All The Time
Tired of being who am I now

You may think I have thought too much
But it has been so true
So true that I can no longer take it anymore
You might want to tell me it is alright
But it has been this way all these while
That is why you never realised

Sometimes I wonder what am I doing
Am I doing something worth of doing?
Worth of sacrificing my time, my strength, my smile?
Invest everything for something
Something that I'm not even sure sometimes
Where am I heading?

Why?
To please everyone?
To be the person you think I am?
To make every single decision for everyone?
To show how much I can do?
To show my smile will never fade?

Stop it, I'm telling you!
I am not perfect, even though I'm trying so hard in everyday of my life
I hate to lead, because I want to move forward together
I am not encyclopedia, you must understand my brain is still linking the neurons
I hate faking my smiles, because I prefer true smile
I am not who you think I am, you must realise

O Lord! Do teach me how to live out my true self
I need your guidance wisdom
I just want to live my life with You, just for You
You know that full well
I just want to please You, not anyone else
You know me better than myself

It's never fun to live such a life
Worn out, yes I am
Tired
Restless
Sick, in fact
Renew me, O Lord!